“I hate God and will do until the day I see Him.” By the end of last year, Fahad* from Nazareth had seen enough. His mind was made up: God was an evil being who “turns a blind eye to injustices and does nothing in response to people being crushed.” He was certain he could not be convinced otherwise.
When Fahad first contacted SAT-7’s Viewer Support Team, the current war in the Holy Land had recently erupted. The attacks on October 7, 2023, shocked the world, and the subsequent conflict has claimed thousands of lives and caused the displacement of around two million people. Although Fahad lives in Nazareth, away from the main conflict zone, the hostilities took their toll on him. “I have no peace,” he said. “I’m distressed because of all that’s happening around me.”
The suffering Fahad witnessed seemed like concrete evidence that God was neglectful and even malicious. “A God who has given the world over to the evil one cannot but be the devil himself… Where is His protection for the young children? Or is He a God whose words are in vain? What’s the sin of a four-year-old that God won’t save them? He says He saves and protects, but He cannot do either,” Farhad said.
Deep Hurt
As SAT-7’s Viewer Support Team built trust with Fahad over the course of several days, he shared more of his life story. It turned out that he had more than ethical or philosophical reasons for doubting the goodness of God; he had deep personal hurt that had caused him to lose his faith.
Fahad bravely revealed that he had been sexually assaulted as a child, adding: “This caused me to feel deep shame and guilt. I also started abusing substances. I have also been subjected to violence as a child and as an adult. I feel as if I am being stabbed with a knife, even as I type about these experiences.”
But even amid all his pain and trauma, there was a hint that Fahad had not given up on faith completely. “Do you think I have any hope of loving God again?” he asked.
Our Viewer Support Team continued to empathize with Fahad, explaining that there is a spiritual battle raging all around us and that it is Satan, not God, who is responsible for evil in the world. Our team assured Fahad that their conversation was not coincidental, because God loves him and wants to heal him from all his past hurts, described by Fahad as like carrying “a mountain in my heart.”
“Touch My Heart”
It was after this exchange that something shifted for Fahad. As our team gently encouraged him to take a step towards God, he prayed this moving prayer:
“I come before You, Jesus, God of love. I am remorseful, and I am also hurting inside. I want You to dwell in my heart. I’m tired of crying, and I don’t want to spend another day without You… Today, my heart cries to You to show me Your ways. Teach me who You are. Touch my heart with Your Spirit. All I chased was vanity. Speak to me about how much You love me. Touch my heart for real today.”
Our team continued to speak with Fahad and answer his questions relating to faith, and they encouraged him to read the Bible and meditate on God’s truth. He shared how SAT-7’s programs – especially School of Christ and Pastor Sameh’s sermons – were helping him, too.
Around this time, Fahad visited a local church. “The meeting was great,” he enthused. “I was uplifted because of the songs. I felt that God wanted to purify my heart more and more, and I experienced the beauty of prayer. I know God wants to give my heart peace as He drives away the sins. I felt so much joy.”
As violence continues to engulf the region, pray that many more people will seek the Lord’s peace and healing.
*Name changed for security reasons.
